Posted on: 04 December, 2001
Author: Michael D. Pollock
Here's the most common problem I see among ... family members and ... ... it'snot really a problem so much as it is a belief. It's ... belief that says: "It's not okay Here's the most common problem I see among clients,friends, family members and colleagues. Actually, it'snot really a problem so much as it is a belief. It's alimiting belief that says: "It's not okay to get what I want."Not only do I see it in others, but it's also one of my own personal favorites. How about you? Does any of this ring true for you?"What I want" can be anything from the last piece ofpizza to a certain amount of time to yourself to a happymarriage to a career or business you really want. Whatever the object of desire, there's an underlying beliefor feeling that says it's not okay to have it. Several months ago, during a session with my own coach, Icame face to face with this very issue. I'd been workingmore than usual, and my coach was really challenging me totell my employer I needed the following day off. That was a tough challenge to consider. Although I probablydeserved a day off as much as anyone else, there wassomething in me that fought the idea. I thought how nice it would be to not have any agenda for the whole day, and I wanted to take that day off. Butstill, I could feel the tension arise within me as shechallenged me further. The end result was I did take the day off - just not thatparticular day. We compromised. Actually, I compromised.Right? Wrong? Who knows. Who cares? The world is stillrunning fine, and I haven't lost any sleep over mydecision.The first of 28 Attraction Principles in Thomas Leonard's"The Portable Coach" is "Become Incredibly Selfish." Hmm.I wonder if Thomas saw this as a common issue with hisclients, friends and colleagues? If you haven't read thebook yet, I'd suggest you pick up a copy. He gives a wholenew definition for the word selfish.Along with that, here are a few tips I'll offer as well.1. Learn to recognize this belief working in your life. Doyou rarely make time for yourself? Do you find yourselfinvolved in all sorts of projects that you really don'tenjoy? Are you doing and having everything except thatwhich you really want? Those are a few ways this belief may show up in your life.2. Get clear on what you really do want. Do you want anextra hour or two each day for yourself? How about anincredibly happy marriage or relationship? Maybe you'd just like a more comfortable chair at work.3. Ask for what you want, even if this belief comes up andsays it's not okay to have it. When you first start out,it's difficult to ask for what you want. Ask anyway. It's just a belief.4. Consider the distinction: "taking a stand vs. being positional." Taking a stand for what you want is simplystating your want without feeling a need to prove youdeserve it. It's what you want. It's your choice. Period."I'm taking a day just for me next Monday."Being positional is stating what you want with anunderlying need to prove to yourself and/or others it'sokay to have it. "I've worked 6 days straight, and Ideserve a day to myself!" 5. This one is from "The Portable Coach," but I love it.Say "no" just because you feel like it. How great wouldthat feel? How many times have you wanted to say "no" tosomething, but couldn't bring yourself to do it? 6. Set aside "me time." This is time just for you to dowhatever you want. Why? Say it with me . . . because youwant to.7. Whenever you see the belief "it's not okay to get whatI want," name it. Name it for what it is - an old, tired,limiting collection of thoughts from your past. Again, it's not Truth.8. Look at how you can get what you want in a way that'soriented around your core values. In other words, insteadof allowing the coulds, shoulds and woulds determine whatyou have and how you get it, find out what your core values are, and let that be your guide. 9. Consider a Coach. If you read any of these and theysound out of the realm of possibility for you, that's asure sign you've got this belief very deeply embedded inyour personal operating system. You probably would benefitfrom some personal attention.10. Sleep well. In the end, it's you who has to releaseyourself from this inner bondage. Whether you control yourown life or allow the expectations and needs of others todoit, make it a conscious choice, and BE HAPPY with it.It's your life! Make it great. Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com